So the other night I am lying in bed and my roommate Brea asked me to tell her some stories....this is the conversation that ensued:
W:"Have I told you about the time I was Juliet in my 6th grade play and Romeo stripped the screws from the table that was to be my bed....so in the scene where I drank the potion to make it seem like I was dead I laid on the table only to have it collapse....my skirt flying up....in front of the ENTIRE school?"
B:"Yeah....that was a good one"
W:"What about the time the heat lamp over our baby chickens fell and caught our laundry room on fire not only killing the chickens, but nearly destroying the entire west side of our house?"
B:"Didn't your neighbor invite you over for fried chicken that night?"
W:"Yep....classic"
W: "Ok...well one time in China I locked my keys in my apt and it was a holiday weekend...no one was in town that could help us and we were supposed to catch a bus to Guilin the next morning. We lived on the top floor of an apt building so we went up the roof and discussed all possible options (one of which being tying a rope to Melissa and hoisting her over the side and through a window). Well Kelsi realized that her bathroom window and mine was only about a foot and a half apart so....on of us could climb out her bathroom window and into mine."
B: "This is a high rise apt. building?"
W: "Yep....sniff.....I was going to do it, but I was wearing a skirt and we were concerned that it would not allow me to "maneuver" myself safely....so Kelsi bravely volunteered. Melissa and I wrapped ourselves around her leg and torso (anchoring her) as she climbed out the window and swung her leg across to my bathroom. Then Melissa held my legs as I stuck most of my body outside the window to help secure/push Kelsi into my bathroom. By the time she made it we realized that a crowd of people had congregated below...watching the "crazy" Americans! "
B: "What were you thinking?"
W: "Yeah....that was pretty stupid now that I think about it"
B: "One more"
W: "Ok....I will tell you something that I have only told ONE other person.....
B: ...........??
W: "............uhhhh..............I went to space camp............."
B: "Like the NASA one?"
W: "nope....like Star Trek space camp"
B: Brea laughing her guts out
W: "Yeah.....yeah....laugh it up! I know....."
B: "What did you do?"
W: "Well we were divided up into teams/ships and we were put in rooms or simulators and had to work together to save the galaxy from evil aliens"
B: .....laughing even harder now......
W: "One time I got to be captain and give all the orders....yeah....."
B: "And?"
W: "Our ship was taken over by aliens and we all died"
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Monday, Monday....
6:10 a.m. crawling around on the floor....disoriented....trying to find where I hid my phone the night before
6:25 a.m. wake up a second time to my alarm.....get on my knees
6:35 a.m. still on my knees.....I like to think that I can pray in my sleep
6:40 a.m. eat breakfast while standing in my closet trying to figure out what to wear
6:50 a.m. Still standing in my closet....no idea what to wear
7:10 a.m. running out the door forgetting my scarf and gloves grabbing the thinnest coat I own
7:12 a.m. FREEZING at the bus stop......
7:15 a.m. Realized that I forgot to brush my teeth
7:16 a.m. a friend from the ward sits down by me on the bus....spent the whole 15 min bus ride talking out the side of my mouth
8:00 a.m. get to work and realize that I forgot my security badge....whoops
8:30 a.m.Call my insurance company only to find out that even though I am paying for services I do not exist in their system.....now is REALLY not the time to get shot!
9:30 a.m. Still on the phone trying to figure out my insurance "situation" when I hear a BANG BANG BANG Then my boss yells "What are you doing??" BANG BANG BANG another yell "Go around!' "What are you doing!?"
9:35 a.m. Get off the phone to see almost everyone else in the office crowded in my boss's office.
9:35 a.m. Sit in my boss's office watching a disoriented man (wearing a dirty sweatshirt, REALLY baggy pants ...backwards....that actually spent most of the time around his ankles, and one shoe) standing in the bushes outside the window trying to open a door he thought existed in the brick wall next to the window.
9:40 a.m. Security shows up to handle the situation
9:40-10 a.m. watch the man walk around and try to get in other cars when the police officer went to get him some water....then fall over and roll around on the ground.....crawl on his hands and knees down the road.....
10 a.m. It was unanimously decided that the man had escaped from the psych ward....upstairs
12 p.m. Eat lunch while discuss all the shootings/stabbings/muggings that have happened in the last week....sadly it was all news to me.
3 p.m. a girl (Kellie) I work with runs out of the office exclaiming that she burnt a bag of popcorn
3:02 p.m. office smells AWFUL and I start teasing Kellie that she is going to set the fire alarm off
3:05 p.m. smoke is billowing out of the break room
3:10 p.m. fire alarm goes off and the entire building is evacuated
3:30 p.m. standing outside with everyone glaring at us because the truth had gotten around and they realized this was all because of burnt popcorn
4:00 p.m. security and environmental services are still in the office....asking questions and drilling Kellie on smart microwave use - Security officer : "Haven't you been told that when you are using the microwave you don't walk away from it?" Kellie: "I was always told that microwaves cause cancer....so I always walk away!" and so on......
4:30 p.m. I sit in my desk as I watch Kenny.(the guy in charge) wheel our microwave out of the office on his cart. He said it was punishment and exclaimed, "You know you ain't never gonna get this back." I sat there feeling like a scolded child.....meanwhile....Kellie is hiding out in her office with the door closed....can't really blame her
4:30 - 5:00 p.m. sit at the front desk as person after person walk by on their way home making comments or shooting evil looks......
5:10 p.m.Heave a sigh of relief as I lock up for the night and get to leave the office and all its craziness behind
UNTIL TOMORROW that is......
6:25 a.m. wake up a second time to my alarm.....get on my knees
6:35 a.m. still on my knees.....I like to think that I can pray in my sleep
6:40 a.m. eat breakfast while standing in my closet trying to figure out what to wear
6:50 a.m. Still standing in my closet....no idea what to wear
7:10 a.m. running out the door forgetting my scarf and gloves grabbing the thinnest coat I own
7:12 a.m. FREEZING at the bus stop......
7:15 a.m. Realized that I forgot to brush my teeth
7:16 a.m. a friend from the ward sits down by me on the bus....spent the whole 15 min bus ride talking out the side of my mouth
8:00 a.m. get to work and realize that I forgot my security badge....whoops
8:30 a.m.Call my insurance company only to find out that even though I am paying for services I do not exist in their system.....now is REALLY not the time to get shot!
9:30 a.m. Still on the phone trying to figure out my insurance "situation" when I hear a BANG BANG BANG Then my boss yells "What are you doing??" BANG BANG BANG another yell "Go around!' "What are you doing!?"
9:35 a.m. Get off the phone to see almost everyone else in the office crowded in my boss's office.
9:35 a.m. Sit in my boss's office watching a disoriented man (wearing a dirty sweatshirt, REALLY baggy pants ...backwards....that actually spent most of the time around his ankles, and one shoe) standing in the bushes outside the window trying to open a door he thought existed in the brick wall next to the window.
9:40 a.m. Security shows up to handle the situation
9:40-10 a.m. watch the man walk around and try to get in other cars when the police officer went to get him some water....then fall over and roll around on the ground.....crawl on his hands and knees down the road.....
10 a.m. It was unanimously decided that the man had escaped from the psych ward....upstairs
12 p.m. Eat lunch while discuss all the shootings/stabbings/muggings that have happened in the last week....sadly it was all news to me.
3 p.m. a girl (Kellie) I work with runs out of the office exclaiming that she burnt a bag of popcorn
3:02 p.m. office smells AWFUL and I start teasing Kellie that she is going to set the fire alarm off
3:05 p.m. smoke is billowing out of the break room
3:10 p.m. fire alarm goes off and the entire building is evacuated
3:30 p.m. standing outside with everyone glaring at us because the truth had gotten around and they realized this was all because of burnt popcorn
4:00 p.m. security and environmental services are still in the office....asking questions and drilling Kellie on smart microwave use - Security officer : "Haven't you been told that when you are using the microwave you don't walk away from it?" Kellie: "I was always told that microwaves cause cancer....so I always walk away!" and so on......
4:30 p.m. I sit in my desk as I watch Kenny.(the guy in charge) wheel our microwave out of the office on his cart. He said it was punishment and exclaimed, "You know you ain't never gonna get this back." I sat there feeling like a scolded child.....meanwhile....Kellie is hiding out in her office with the door closed....can't really blame her
4:30 - 5:00 p.m. sit at the front desk as person after person walk by on their way home making comments or shooting evil looks......
5:10 p.m.Heave a sigh of relief as I lock up for the night and get to leave the office and all its craziness behind
UNTIL TOMORROW that is......
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